Big Iron on His Hip
by contrecoup
Summary: There's a reason the owner of the Prospector Saloon, Trudy, isn't particularly fond of Victor. And there's a reason she's yet to do anything about it.


The townsfolk of Goodsprings knew where the line was drawn when it came to that funny securitron sheriff they'd inherited. They knew better than to cross him.

Ever since that one instance he'd let himself slip.

Victor hadn't gone into town that day looking for trouble. Or, rather, not trouble where he himself was the source – he'd certainly been _looking _for trouble. Well now, that's one of the duties of a sheriff after all. He had a nose for sniffing out miss-doers too, always had. Wasn't like he'd been made that way neither – nope, it came from long hours of putting in the time, trailing on even longer days where his monitor came close to frying and his batteries cried out to be charged. Didn't stop him though.

He had a duty to these people - to protect them. To keep 'um safe.

But he'd come close to breaking his own promise that day.

It'd never been quite possible, logistically, for him to stop into the Prospector's Saloon at the end of a hard day, but he could wheel himself up onto the outside porch and rest his bolts for a spell. Easy Pete was always up for shooting the breeze with any who hunkered down by his favorite spot, and the other residents of Goodsprings would usually tip their hats to the securitron as they passed. Some would even stop to talk if they weren't in a hurry. He had a fondness for times like that, when the people regarded him as one of their own.

Lots a times, most people seemed intimidated by his presence; they stared up at him, whispering, always whispering, and had that tendency to perk up whenever he rolled by. He took their suspicions as one of the downsides of being a sheriff - people found it hard to see you past the badge anymore. And while he disliked putting people ill at ease, he figured if it was anyone's burden to bear then at least he took it in stride.

Times like this, though, he savored. He could really breath, let out that tight, wound-up sigh he hardly knew he was holding in, and just sit back and watch the clock tick till sunset.

Easy Pete made for interesting company, too. One of his favorites of all the residents here in his little town. The stories the ol' prospector had accumulated from all over the waste never ceased to amaze him. Some of them he had half a mind to question if they were true, but he held his tongue, figuring if an old guy like Pete wanted to spin a tale or two around his life, well, he was within his right to do so.

Pete was in the middle of one of his stories, drawling on to Victor about how he'd rescued four or five of his companions from some over-exaggerated adversary, when Trudy ambled out of the saloon. She nodded towards Pete, sunk down in his favorite chair, and earned a tip of his hat in return. A smile curled lightly on her face, that is, until she turned and saw Victor idling over to the side.

"I see that thing's takin' up root outside my shop..." Her tone was calm, but laced with venom that made Victor teeter nervously on his axial.

"Now see her, Miss, I didn't mean no harm in-"

She waved her hand fervently to cut him off. "Yeah, yeah. Keep your excuses to yourself, ain't good for nothin' in caps. Just keep from pestering the customers and we'll each pretend the other ain't even there. Won't even have to talk less YOU start causin' problems." Docking her hands on her hips, she sniffed, and shot a challenging glance up towards him.

"Well I'd consider that mighty unlikely, seeing as how I'm the sheriff," he stated matter-of-factly, slightly offended by her tone. "You oughtta know, Ms. Trudy, that it's my job to keep problems from happening – not start 'em. And I certainly don't got plans to start changin' my ways anytime soon."

Letting a snarl escape through gritted teeth, Trudy rolled her eyes. "Yeaaah, yeah, we all heard it 'fore. You're the big ol' sheriff in town, come to save us all. Well, hell – I don't remember ever askin' for no sheriff to begin with. And there certainly ain't anybody here that needs savin'."

Her words were coming out louder now, faster too, as if the subject had been gnawing inside her for a while. "We got more than enough people to protect the town from anything the wasteland could throw at as. We got peace, we got food, we got water. So, way I figure it, you're just a nuisance 'round here. A big, creepy, smilin' metal nuisance!"

And with that she turned on her heel and stomped back inside, leaving the two to stare in stunned silence at the door closing behind her.

"That one's got a fire burnin' inside her," Pete murmured, and took out a cigarette from his breast pocket. He lit it with an air of disinterest, shaking out the flame.

Victor furrowed his brow. "...I oughtta say somethin' to her. Seems only right, after all. I mean, won't never my intention to rile up the locals. Ain't in my nature to do folks wrong."

Pete gave a languid wave of his hand. "Naw, Victor, don't you go talkin' to her. Woman's made up her mind ya'll won't be getting along. Might as well let the two of you each pick a side and stick to it."

Victor frowned. "Now c'mon, Pete, ya sayin' there ain't nothing I can do to change her mind?"

"'Fraid so. Not that little lady anyway. She's stuck in her ways." He gave a somber nod of his head, and let out a billowing plume of smoke, close enough so that Victor waved it away from his face.

"Well, I guess I'm a just have to find out for myself."

Pete only shook his head, and took another drag of his cigarette, this time blowing the plume out the corner of his mouth and away from the porch.

–

The evening pittered down over Goodsprings with the slow, dying burn of a strong drink. The locals drifted out of the bar when the morning grew too close for comfort, some stumbling, others laughing a little too loudly against the stillness of the town. Victor rolled to the side out of their way, waving them off on their journeys home. After an hour or so, the trickle began to slow, and when he tipped his hat goodbye to Sunny Smiles, her cheeks ruddy with red blossoms, he knew the bar must be getting ready to close. Though he knew he couldn't fit through front door, there was a back entrance he'd spotted Miss Trudy going through around this time a few nights back. He wheeled himself around to it, hoping to catch her on her way home.

The town seemed even quieter behind the bar, Victor thought. He'd gotten used to the somber still of early morning around these parts, his patrols often trailed into hours where most folks were still asleep while he was puttering around. Still, the sudden collapse into silence was eerie.

He ambled in front of the door, rolling back and forth on his wheel (what he considered pacing). The back alley was lit by single lamp above the door frame, hardly necessary with the sun was beginning to come up.

While he waited, he busied himself studying the tiny bloatflys taping at the lamp; they were drawn to it like a magnet, pulled in again and again despite how quickly the buzzed away. He didn't notice the door opening at first.

A sudden movement out the corner of his eye. He sputtered and rushed towards it, reaching out his arms. "N-Now, Miss Trudy I-" He overshot and ended up far too close, almost on top of her. A look of complete terror came over her face at his sudden appearance, and she screamed and whipped out her piece quick as instinct.

She blasted off four shots before he could get another word in. Three ricocheted off his shoulders, one shot through his side, and the force sent him reeling back until his wheel gritted wildly against sand.

"Ya'll think ya can get the slip on me, ya damn robot!" she screeched and squeezed the trigger past the point of empty. When the clicking finally stopped, she froze, her breath ragged, eyes locked on the securitron, just daring him to move.

Victor barely managed to keep upright during the barrage. He wheeled back, flailing his arms. His screen went fuzzy for a second. One of his shoulders was behaving strangely, frenziedly opening and re-opening its hatch and making these awful, guttural whining noises. He scrambled to override the programming, but it seemed like the bullet had temporarily disconnected him. Maybe it singed through a cable or got jammed in the works, the thing was responding too chaotically to tell. Frantically working to regain control, he finally got his shoulder to click down into place. A quiet sigh escaped him.

Almost immediately, it re-opened, and his machine gun popped out, loaded, and aiming at Trudy.

"GET DOWN!" He jerked to the side, the bullets flying through the paneling above where her head had been. She'd dived trembling to the ground, hands above her head, staring at him with wide, frightened eyes.

"Errggh...just a..." He struggled to reign the thing back in. It finally ran out of ammo and clicked harmlessly at his side, prompting another sigh.

"Well, I 'spose that solves the problem. In a way. Now listen here, miss...miss?" He turned but she had already taken off running full speed back into town. "Miss!" he called out, and she tore her gaze over her shoulder, fear in her eyes, but shook her head and kept her feet pounding forward.

He rolled in fast pursuit. She hadn't heard him out yet.

And he certainly couldn't have her spreading this little misunderstanding to the rest of the town.

With his stride he caught up to her in seconds. When she heard the approaching crunch of his wheel, she lashed out behind her.

"Get the damn near_** hell**_ away from me-HELP! Help, the robot's trying to kill me!" She was frantic now.

She threw punch after frantic punch at whatever was within reach, his arms, his chasie, his monitor, but he hardly noticed. He was attempting to calm her down patiently, talking over her cries in a low, sweet voice, until he saw that more would be necessary.

"Now, Miss Trudy. M-Miss..Miss Trudy. Come on-...come one now. Stop! Miss...Miss Trudy...MISS TRUDY." He yanked hold of one of her arms, harder than he meant to, so that her feet ended up dangling uselessly above the ground.

A stern expression flicked onto his monitor. "Miss Trudy, now I don't like to put my hands on a woman, but if you keep on assaultin' me I just might have to pick it up the habit..." His eyes were cold, glowering in a way that made Trudy shudder and whine. "Now, I'mma put you down now. And your gonna stand still right where I put ya and listen. That sound alright to you?"

She bit her lip and nodded. Her wrist was starting to ache in his sharp pincers, so that she was very thankful when he finally set her down. Rubbing indignantly at her wrist, she shot him a glare. He could see her feet were itching standing still; they shuffled for a moment, and she shot a quick wanting glance back towards town, but she didn't make a run for it.

"Good. Now see? It don't take much to be civil with ol' Vic." He heard her give a little scoff.

"Now all I was gonna say is – even though I know you ain't fond a' me, Miss Trudy, I just wanted to make sure you know that I don't carry 'round any ill-will towards ya or any a' the people of Goodsprings. Even after that fire show a' yours, I still aim to protect this town best I know how..."

"Then why did you attack me?" she spat and dug her heel into the ground.

"I _didn't _– see, that's where this whole tap dance started. I just wanted to talk to ya, honest. Figured since you didn't wanna see me during business hours you could see me after. Then _you _were the one started lighting up the air like it was the dang Fourth of July."

He gave a stern nod of reproach. A tinge of confusion blotted her face for a moment - she was wondering what the hell the Fourth of July was - but she only shook her head and sputtered.

"B-but...but you fired on me! I saw you!"

He waved a crooked metal pincer. "Weren't my intention, mind you. One a' them jimmies ya shot my way must have nicked the control module – darn thing started operating on its own. I told ya to duck, didn't I?"

She shuffled nervously and grunted a humble, "Well...yeah..."

While she stared at the ground, he rolled between and placed a friendly hand on her shoulder. "So please, Miss Trudy, even if I ain't your favorite resident of this here town, know that this ol' Sheriff ain't out to get nobody here. Not unless they're honest-to-God breakin' the law."

Though she shrinked from his touch, she managed a curt nod.

"Whatever...whatever you say, Victor. C-Can I go now?"

"Ah, just one more thing..." his grip tightened on her shoulder, clutching firmly, almost into the skin. She winced. "...Don't take much to make me mad, now, but know that I don't take kindly to folks man-handeling me, even if it's 'cause of a misunderstanding. Now, you get three strikes with me, little lady. You used two of them these evening..." A gasp shuttered from her when he clamped down harder. "Remember that."

Offering her a bright smile when she nodded earnestly, he released his grip, quick, as if it'd never happened. With a polite nod, he started rolling towards the graveyard.

"I like you, friend," he called without looking back. "Ya'll take care now!"

She could hear him humming to himself.

"_It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round~ There before them lay the body of the outlaw on the ground~" _

Trudy stood shaking, frozen and horrified, staring at his back. She began to run as soon as she got the feeling back in her legs. The humming seemed to follow her.

"_Oh he might have went on livin, but he made one fatal slip~ When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip~"_

_"Big iron on his hip~" _


End file.
